Not because I need reminding that I miss Jim everyday, but to remind others that I do. I know that the reminder makes people uncomfortable. People who haven't ever had a loss like this want a Hollywood movie ending. The hole left in our lives by Jim's death doesn't ever get any smaller, and I suspect this is very uncomfortable for them. It makes them fearful, impatient, perplexed. There must be something wrong with "us" - because if that ever happened to them, they can't imagine grieving for "so long." But those who've lost...they understand. They know it never goes away. The grief becomes a part of your being. It's there when you wake up in the morning. It pops from your heart into your head throughout the day. It lies down to sleep with you at night. You might not be crying all the time and you might be able to talk about the one you lost without that lump in your throat, but the "missing" is always there.
I bought my parents each a similar keychain. They say "Everyday I miss my son." Kirsten got one that says "Everyday I miss my uncle." I wanted them to know that I know it's there with them everyday. Jim's death changed us all - forever. It won't ever be the same. I understand and I love them.
