Scattered about my head are quite a few more grey hairs than I used to have. My hairdresser says it's time for a color. I've colored or highlighted my hair for fun for a lot of years now. I come from a long line of Swayne color-ers, and until Jimmy died, I really didn't have any more of a problem with putting color in my hair than I did putting on a blue sweater. I even colored my hair purple once - not like bright purple - but my hair had a definite strong purple tint to it. Unfortunately, I took a three-year-old Kirsten with me when I had it done and she announced it to EVERYONE we met for about a month - "MY MOM COLORED HER HAIR PURPLE!" But now I look at the grey in the mirror and I think "Boy, I've earned those." My own badge of courage. In an odd way, I find comfort in seeing the grey hairs. In my own warped view, I think "Oh good, I'm that much closer to seeing Jim again." I'm not looking to rush it or anything, but I don't mind getting older. I don't mind seeing it. In the end, I get to see Jimmy again and I'm looking forward to that. The greys are a daily reminder that life moves on. Some people want to stop the passage of time. I'm enjoying and thankful for every day I have here with those I love, but I also don't mind the days going by.
And now for a little funny story. I was sitting at the table with Mom after Sunday dinner. We were talking about how much we missed Jimmy and how difficult it is to get motivated for Christmas. So she says "I dreamed about Jimmy and my mother last night. I went to heaven and I saw them together." I said "Really? Last night? Because I dreamed about Jimmy and Grandma last night too. Only I didn't go to heaven. We were all at Grandma's house." Without missing a beat, she smiles and teases me (just like Jimmy would've done) "That's because they don't let atheists in heaven." Then she laughed at her joke, just like Jimmy would've done. It made me smile and laugh too.
3 comments:
Maybe it's the time of year, but the passing of time has been on mind too. How did I get to be this old? I am sure I was young just a few minutes ago... Thanks for your interesting blog entry, Judy.
I enjoyed your post for several reasons: I, too, stopped coloring my hair (for a little while at least) because I'm not afraid of my gray hairs (granted, there are only a few) but went back to it because I hated how flat my own color looked. I also miss my father terribly and look forward to seeing him once again. I hope I can, at least. Finally, although I straddle the fence as an agnostic I'd like to think that if there is a God then s/he will be forgiving enough to let us join those we love and miss.
Have been thinking about getting older too, must be the time of year. It is a good attitude to take, embracing those greys. Not me. I am going kicking and screaming into old age. I was thinking today about how nice it would be to be 20-something! You know Jude, the best thing about running is that every year you get into a better age bracket. When we're 80 we'll be taking 1st place in our age group!
Post a Comment