Bravery

What exactly is bravery? The dictionary tells me that it's courage in the face of danger, difficulty, or pain. But I think the definition needs to go a bit farther than that. I'm willing to bet that most of us are brave in the sense that we'd run in a burning building to save our kid. I'm even brave enough to offer to undergo a very painful surgery to give my sibling a portion of my liver. All very brave, spectacular, things...but I think there's more...an every day bravery. The kind of bravery that pushes you out of your comfort zone; has you seek out new experiences. I don't think the Marventano clan has that. We're a very "in-our-comfort-zone, play-it-safe" kind of crew. I believe that's why Jim married Kate. Kate is one of the most "every-day" brave people I've met. From what I saw, Jim gave Kate a comfort zone and Kate took Jim out of his.

When the end was in sight, Jim and Kate had to discuss some difficult topics. One of them, which she put on her blog, was the issue of marrying again. Jim said he probably wouldn't marry again if the positions were reversed. I think probably what Jim was saying was that he wouldn't seek to go outside his comfort zone to date and marry again. I've watched Kate begin to date again, and I have to say that it is a true act of bravery. I can only imagine the pain and difficulty of that act. She didn't stop loving her husband, but yet she is trying to forge a relationship with another. I'm not sure I could attempt it. I don't know if I'm that brave.

Which leads me to a question I've been asking myself lately - "Am I making my children comfort-zone people?" Mark desperately wants some land. We both would love to move out of NYS. And yet, I'm unwilling to move my kids out of their school district and away from their friends. Jim and I went to the same school district for all but my Kindergarten year. We both have lifelong friends from our school years. Everyone I know who moved around a lot as a kid, tells me they hated it. They hated being the new kid and don't have those friendships from youth. But yet, I believe that's what makes them have that "everyday bravery" that I don't have. I both admire and fear that bravery. I'm just pretty sure I don't have it.