I was in my final year of college and Jimmy was a Senior in high school. That year the Rush Henrietta Sperry Comets football team won the Section V Football AAA finals. Jimmy played left tackle. (Or right? Okay, if you're the quarterback looking at the center, Jim's to the left - so that's left tackle?)
I can remember driving from my apartment at RIT to Fauver Stadium to meet my parents for both the semi-final and final games. It never occurred to me not to go, even if I had to forfeit a beer or two those weekends to cover my admission tickets and parking. In the semi-final game, Jimmy got hurt. Messed up his ankle enough that it still bothered him as an adult. Mom and I were sitting together, when Jim stayed down on the ground after the play. Mom was petrified. I was too young and stupid to be scared. Of course he'd get up - it's just a game and he's Jim, of course he'll get up. He did get up and even made the local TV news being helped off the field by team mates. See Mom - he's fine. Everything's okay.
Jim knew he was going to college complements of his brain, not his brawn, so he had the doctor tape up his ankle good and tight for his last game. He played hard in that final game. It was a crusher - the 1986 Comet team beat Greece Athena quite handily. The guys were thrilled.
Dad found an old VHS tape of those games a few months ago. I just transferred them to DVD. Mark and I watched both games as the machine copied from the VHS tape over to the DVD. Jimmy was right there. I could see him so clearly. My brain filled in all the details of that season that weren't recorded on tape. He was just right there. Then the tape ended and he wasn't. The thing about grief is that the wound remains raw for a long time. You learn to carefully avoid pressing on it, but then it's like running into the footboard on the bed in the middle of the night. You don't see it coming in the dark and then - "OUCH! Crap. That hurts."
Jimmy was just right there for two hours the other night. It was great to see him again. I've missed him so much over the past year. Then the tape ended...I whacked my leg on the footboard of my life and it hurts.
2 comments:
You write so beautifully.
Jude, I'm making light, but it almost reminds me of Jaws..."Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water..."
The fluctuation of emotions is stunning. I know you were glad you watched the tape and were delighted to see him, but it hurts like hell afterward.
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