It's been a long, tiring month emotionally. We drove to Wisconsin over Memorial Day weekend to scatter Jim's ashes on Forest Lake. Forest Lake is just about as far north in Wisconsin as you can get without having dual-citizenship (although there's a small slice of Michigan that gets in the way of the Canadian border). The picture above shows just how beautiful it is there. You can see why Jim loved it and wanted it to be his final resting place. It was worth the 17 hour drive to be part of the memorial Kate arranged.
We scattered Jim's ashes on our final day there. It turned out to be the perfect "Jim" day. It was sunny, but cool - a flannel shirt & jeans day - Jim's favorite. The long weekend had passed, so there wasn't anyone else on the lake. Kate's dad took us all out on the pontoon boat. As we left the dock, there was an eagle perched in one of the highest trees keeping an eye on us. Two flew in the sky as we motored between the two sites where we let Jim's ashes go. I believe that was significant. In Native American culture, both Bald and Golden Eagles are highly revered and considered sacred within their traditions and religion. Eagles are honored with great care and shown the deepest respect. They represent honesty, truth, majesty, strength, courage, wisdom, power and freedom. As they roam the sky, they are believed to have a special connection to God. The Eagle is considered to be a messenger to God. It was given the honor of carrying the prayers of man between the World of Earth and the World of Spirit, where the Creator and grandfathers reside. How fitting is that?
I had been really nervous about scattering Jim's ashes - another symbolic gesture of letting him go. Enough time had gone by that the shock that gets you through the funeral services that immediately follow death was gone. Was I going to completely lose it? I held it together. In the end, Jim wasn't any more gone than he was before we scattered his ashes. The wonderful stories and memories we shared of him around the dinner table were exactly the same before we scattered his ashes as they were after.
We finished up our visit by celebrating Jim's life and his 39th birthday. Kate's mom, Jenny, had ordered a beautiful white cake with a deer on it. Rachel helped Grandmommy light the candles on Daddy's cake and carry it out. We all sang Happy Birthday to Jim. I am eternally grateful to Kate for arranging such a wonderful private memorial service for Jim over his birthday. I also want to say thank you to Kate's parents, Tom & Jenny, for opening their home to the six of us. Happy Birthday Bo. I miss you every single day. Love - Jude
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