Today I give blood

In my eulogy at Jim's funeral, I told a story about how Jim was always ready with a joke - even when we were waiting for news of what would be he needed a blood transfusion. I believe blood transfusions were one of Jim's fears about having cancer treatments - he really didn't want to have one. Mark and I were out giving Kate a break when Dr. Kumar decided Jim needed to have that dreaded blood transfusion, and so the three of us headed out to the hospital. Not the day Jim had planned.

When we originally arrived in Kohler, Jim looked good. We borrowed a wheelchair from the Vince and took him on errands one day. He bought the Little Miss Sunshine DVD and was excited to watch it with us. He must've felt good because he talked to Mark about pushing him around the airshow at Oshkosh. He'd never been there and was pretty interested in seeing it - especially with his brother-in-law who's the most knowledgeable person about airplanes we know. That was the day we had planned. It became clear to me the night before that we weren't going to make it the airshow. I kept the guest room door open that night, and hardly slept a wink, all the time keeping an ear on Jim's breathing. By morning, I was scared stiff and so was Jim - he was so weak and couldn't breathe.

As we settled into the hospital room, they came to take a dinner order. At this point, Jim is really upset he has to get a blood transfusion. They've already given him IV fluids at the Vince for two hours, so he's physically a little better. We've called Kate and asked her to come home. Into Jim's room comes the volunteer to take his dinner order. Now Jim hasn't eaten more than a spoonful of solid food in weeks - we're just trying to get enough calories in him via shakes to keep him from losing anymore weight. So Mark and I are quite perplexed when Jim orders a lot of food. And as he's ordering he's saying things like "I really like blue cheese dressing on my salad. Do you have blue cheese?" and "Oh - the carrot cake sounds really good - I'll have that and the jello." After he's all done ordering he says to the girl "Oh, and do you have those Ensure shakes? I'd like one of those." She leaves and I look at him quizzically and he says "Hey, I'm paying for it. You guys might as well eat if I can't!" Then he laughs. HE LAUGHS. God, I love him.

They get him all "plugged in" and over the next 4 hours, he gets 2 units of blood. His color starts to return and his condition isn't scaring me as much anymore. As I watch the blood drip down the lines, I think "Why don't I give blood?" At one time I didn't weigh enough to give, but that barrier to giving has long since been torn down! I'm adamant about organ donation - signing my driver's license, a paper at my lawyer's office, and making my wishes clear to Mark and my parents. But blood donation just wasn't on my radar. Maybe I had a fear of it being taken out, like Jim had a fear of it being put in. That's just stupid - so I came home and signed up to give blood. I've given the 2 units Jim needed back into "the system" and today I go for the first time to "pay it forward." Today I get to help someone else's brother, sister, mother, father, daughter, son, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend... like someone else selflessly helped mine.

So, if you haven't given blood - ever, or in a while, - please take the time to go. Jim never made it to Oshkosh. I told him there was always next year, but he shook his head "no." He knew. But with your blood donation, perhaps someone can make it to Oshkosh next year. Please give.